There must be a zillion 9-11 stories. Here's mine, not so much an account of the event as an explanation why the event is meaningful to me.
My younger daughter is neurologically disabled. She is not at all mentally retarded. In fact, she is almost unnaturally alert and involved in her environment. But due to what appears to have been a prenatal injury (not her mother's fault), the processing is off in her brain. The result is an array of autistic-like behaviors that collectively disable her. Her speech is literally childish, her gait is the off-balance duck walk of a one time toe walker, and she has the obsessiveness and eye for irrelevant detail of the true autistic. All this results in profound disability. After a few years of frustration, she ended up in the class of the 'educably retarded', in which environment she is quite comfortable.
But she is not dumb, quite bright, in fact. (Beneath her mangled syntax and garbled pronunciation, her active vocabulary is actually age normal, maybe above.) The upshot of all this is the paradox, that while she is comfortable with the special ed routine, she is also very easily bored by it. Back in 1998, when she was 10, the boredom began to show itself in some acting out behavior that was not a good omen for the future. Her mother (from whom I am divorced) and I thought it would be a good idea to have her spend a month each year in an environment as different and as far from home as possible. There are all sorts of special camps for special kids. We wanted one at a fair distance from anything familiar. We are Californian. I found one in the Catskills, upstate New York, with a month long term, beginning in late July, ending in late August. It was expensive, but not pricey. The references were excellent. In February of 1998, we enrolled her in the camp. She went that following July.
It became summer routine. Between 1998 and 2004 (when she became too old), her mother would take her to the camp. A month later, towards the end of August, I'd come to New York, enjoy Manhattan for a few days, then drive upstate and pick my daughter up. Then it would be back to Manhattan for another day or two of sight-seeing, then home to the San Francisco Bay Area. A routine developed. After we returned from camp, we'd check into a Times Square hotel, visit Virgin Records, roam Times Square, and see an appropriate musical. Then next day, some morning event, lunch at the Top of the World restaurant at the World Trade Center, and something in the afternoon. Monday or Tuesday, the flight home, always the 8:00 a.m flight out of Newark to San Francisco. Newark is a much better access point to lower Manhattan than either of the NYC airports.
2001 was no different. We showed up at the Top of the World on day two after the camp pick up. I was touched that the waiter remembered us. It wasn't that we were expected, but my daughter is a very memorable personality and this was the fourth year in a row we had appeared in late August. The human memory is capable of phenomenal feats of detail. The lunch was lovely, and my wonderful little girl enjoyed the awesome vista, as she always does. The next day we flew out of Newark back home to the Bay Area.
I could dress this up and say that this was one day, or two, before 9/11. But it wasn't. It was two weeks to the day before that event. Two weeks later, our flight would be the one hijacked and crashed into to the Pentagon. I don't know what happened to our waiter with the good memory that day. My hope is that he had not yet arrived for work.
Not the closest brush with fate, but close enough. The mental image I have, of me sitting with my perpetual little girl, doing my best to comfort her, answering her machine gun questions - she talks a mile a minute when she is excited or nervous, and she sure as hell would have been scared out of her wits - while four maniacs who know nothing of her vitality, her innocence, her intensity, the lives she has touched, her immense value, prepare to murder her for no good reason whatsoever, except their own lust for self-glorification - makes me dizzy with fury and relief, seven years later, as I write this. This (obviously) is history that never happened. Yet the event touched close enough to make the scenario as vivid as the reality itself. Perhaps you have to know my daughter.
'For no good reason' - that to me is the point. I have been in criminal law for 35 years, a prosecutor for the last 18. Without doubt, my world view has been shaped by my career. For better or worse, I see the world through that lens. In practice, that means a tendency to analyze actions and behavior in terms of stark, immediate motivation. Forget all your meaning of-life beliefs, what does what you did gain you? More money? Impress the girl? Self gratification of some other type? Spare me the subtleties, the next ten years, and the life to come, what do you get NOW??
This perspective is likely the point of departure between me and the Demented Left. I don't necessarily believe the reasons stated for a criminal act are the actual motivators for that act. In my opinion, that is very infrequently the reality. In the case of the 9/11 conspirators, spare me your discussions of the Palestine problem, the 11 Century Caliphate, or obscure suras in the Quran. These are rationalizations, and transparent ones at that. What is really going on is the same narcissistic interest in self-glorification through spectacular acts of public violence and destruction that motivates high-school shooters - the Columbine pair, for example.
Both crimes involve unsocialized, unfeminized males, who become morbidly fascinated with grandiose acts of destruction. They do not have some reason to shoot their classmates, and then shoot them on that basis. They decide to shoot their classmates and then find a rationale. They do not fly planes into buildings because they are religious martyrs. They become fascinated with the idea of flying planes into buildings and only latterly become religious martyrs. They are first and last criminals, and by definition unprincipled - despicable, cowardly narcissists.
There are some implications from this for how these appalling acts are to be approached analytically. There is at present, and will be for some time, an ongoing debate as to whether Islam is a violent or peaceable religion. I am no Islamic scholar, and not about to become one. But the correct answer seems to me that it is both - as are Christianity, Judaism, Hindu, and the other major faiths. Just as Christianity has enough substance to provide fodder for the mystic St. Theresa of Avila and the ultra-rational Aquinas, for Quaker brethren and Jesuit warrior priests, so does Islam provide enough universality to house both soldier and peacemaker. The religion would not be a major faith if it did not have this degree of universality, a place for every type of personality. The question, then, is not what the religion offers (everything), but what the actor chooses to find in it. Am Anfang war die Tat, in the beginning was the Deed, Goethe wrote famously in Faust, and so it is with crimes of this type.
It is the misfortune of the whole Earth at present that the Middle East produces these criminal males in enormous numbers - young men with no viable future in their society, no hope of achieving social status, no possibility of intimacy with young women, for whom the notion of spectacular, violent destruction (with simultaneous suicide) becomes an enthralling possibility of self-realization. I was not sure whether or not the Iraq War was a wise tactic or not - I am still unsure.
But I am quite sure that the worst move of all would have been to leave those stagnant, morbid societies in the same state they were in at that time, spewing out masses of angry, alienated young males. Change of any kind had to be an improvement over the status quo, and I am glad that it is underway. The crime against my daughter never happened, as vivid as the scenario is to me. But there were others on those planes, comforting frightened children, hoping against hope, at the mercy of monsters. They stood in our place. I am not about to forget them.
Recent Comments